My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
All the doctor said was why
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
