she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
