We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
