I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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