I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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