Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
