I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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