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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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