I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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