THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
