Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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