but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
