meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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