he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
