I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
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sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
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Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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