That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
