I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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