he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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