i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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