Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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