***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
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