weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
