one word: firstdatebathroomanal
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I wear drunk well.
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