break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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