I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
