I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize