you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
