I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
