So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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