Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
