You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
