We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
