Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
