so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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