We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize