just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
