I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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