Define "chronic" masturbator.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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