there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
