dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
