I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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