She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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