Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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