shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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