Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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