i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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