Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
