Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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