More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
