I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The feeling are messing with the penis
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
