help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
