Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
