I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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