Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
