Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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