I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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