dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize