well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
