Will you blow on my dice?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The air was thick with penises
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
